Minutes With Mr Poe
by SmileofPureSunshine
Summary: This is America's show, Minutes With Mr. Poe! Everyone has been waiting for it, and I mean everyone. Cause everyone loves Mr. Poe, fat, annoying Mr. Poe.
1. Episode: Jellybean Kisses

**Minutes With Mr. Poe**

**The tv show all about our beloved Mr. Poe!**

**Episode: Jellybean Kisses**

_Announcer: Ladies and ladies, Mr. Poe!_

**Mr. Poe walks out and, as the ladies and ladies clap, scream, and faint, he makes his special Mr. Poe sound. The ladies giggle and more pass out.**

_Announcer: I think Mr. Poe likes this, don't you Mr. Poe?_

_Mr. Poe: I don't think it creditory for me to answer that, and anyway, call me Snigglethorp, ladies, not you, announcer man_

_Announcer: Like I wanna. So on Minutes With Mr. Poe, this is our first question. Audience, what is that dangnable question? I quite forgot it in my dinner._

**The audience murmurs, and make Mr. Poe sounds, of course.**

_Blue lady: I think you should ask him about butterflies_

_Annou: It's not what you think I should ask. It's what the question already was, you progatory self samer! Now tell me what that means and you will win something. Only hot women can answer_

_Blue: What is the prize?_

_Annou: And by hot it means not you, so shut up. You, over there, in the red. Very nice. What do I mean, when I say progatory self samer?_

_Red: I don't know_

_Annou: Very good answer. Come up here._

**She walks up and the prize is, of course, a kiss from a stagehand mixed with jellybeans. Mr. Poe laughs, cause he thought he was going to be able to kiss the stagehand. And he wanted some jellybeans, cause he's fat, I mean, very hot... Now the audience won't kill me. By the way I'm the true announcer. I was tied up by that silly announcer. He's up there trying to get jellybeans. What a nut! He'll never get them from that stagehand, much less from Mr. Poe.**

_Annou: Wow! You're a good kisser, Lady Red. We should go out sometime._

_Red: But I didn't kiss you-_

_Annou: No buts. I won't hear of it. I'll see you later. _

**He winks at her and pushes her off the stage. If I could just get out of these bonds...**

_Annou: So, back to the question-_

_Mr. Poe: I don't think there should be a question_

_Annou: Why not? That's silly, that's what this whole show is about_

_Mr. Poe: I thought it was about me_

_Annou: But, well, yes, on the whole, it's about you. This question tells your adoring fans more about you, so that they can love you more_

_Mr. Poe: They don't already love me to the full?!_

_Annou: Of course they do, it's just... Stop this! You're trying to make me scared, so you can make me do anything you want, isn't that right, MR.. Poe?_

_Mr. Poe: Of course it __**isn't**__.I'm blond you know_

_Annou: Ok-ay. What has that do with anything?_

_Mr: Poe: I was talking to the stagehand. Underneath all this brown, it's blond. You like blond, don't you stagehand?_

**Stagehand nods vigorously. Mr. Poe knows how to handle stagehands...**

_Mr. Poe: If you want to see me blond, give me the j-e-l-l-y-b-e-a-n-s_

**The stagehand jumps on Mr. Poe's shoulder's and strangles him. The audience tries to stop the estranged stagehand, but it is too late. That's all the time we have for today. The episode is over and you won't know what happens till I write another one. Which means till I get out of these ropes, which means till I call someone, which means, till I get this gag off, which means...**


	2. Episode: Dancing Dead

**Minutes With Mr. Poe**

**The tv show all about our in the hospital Mr. Poe!**

**Episode: Dancing Dead**

_Real Annou: Ladies and gentlemen. Gentlemen, I'm glad you're here. You wouldn't believe how you wives have been acting. But anyway, I'm the real announcer, Tyler Bonchovie, and we are here on Minutes With Mr. Poe, to tell you that... This is hard to say... Mr. Poe is dead._

**The audience doesn't do anything. They can't. They're in a state of shock so huge, they won't be able to move for over several years. **

_Tyler: I see this has come as a huge shock to you. Believe me, I understand. My mother gave me spagetti for dinner one night and I felt the same way. We all loved Mr. Poe, with all our hearts. He was sweet, kind, fat, hot, and he liked jellybeans. But who doesn't? If the stagehand hadn't hanged himself last night, I'm sure he would want to..._

**A screen comes up on the stage, showing the stagehand and Mr. Poe.**

_Stagehand: Give you these jellybeans. You deserve them, Mr. Poe._

**The two, now no longer with us, embraced, and all was well. **

_Tyler: Mr. Poe ate his jellybeans. And I want you people to know, he was happy when he died. Very happy. He had the knowledge that his fans were always true, and loved him more than the nickels in their pants. Now we have a memorial service all ready, with cupcakes and jellybeans in honour of our in the hospital Mr. Poe!_

**The audience jumped up and walked like zombies into the prop dining room on the stage, all prepared with prop chairs, food, and electricity. Everyone chatters about happily, not even once thinking of the reason all this food was here. The reason being, Tyler Bonchovie's mother. She had spent all last night baking up jellybeans, cupcakes, anchovie pizza, Rat Pudding, Tickle Me Pink spagetti, etc.**

**Suddenly the lights went out and lightening struck one of the audience, who realizing he was going to die, begans singing "Dead" by My Chemical Romance. Everyone begans dancing with the dead man in turns, and laughing their heads... well, they're dead too, is what I mean to say. The real announcer, I mean Tyler, was still alive.**

_Tyler: You can come out now, Mr. Poe! The audience is dead, and you are free! HAHAHHAHAH!! _

**The stagehand walks out and laughs as well, then pulls off his disguise. He is Mr. Poe!**

_Tyler: Josh's, I mean the stagehand's, death was quick, right?_

_Mr. Poe: Oh, yes. It was as quick as I'm dancing._

_Tyler: And you're pretty quick. You know, Mr. Poe, you are actually a quite good looking man now that you don't look like your old self. _

**Tyler was right. Mr. Poe was no longer fat, dopey, annoying, stupid, bratty, dumb, without a brain, and silly. He was different, almost looking like Johnny Depp, or some other really hot guy.**

_Tyler: What do we do now, Mr. Poe? Or can I call you Snigglethorp cause we're pretty good friends now?_

_Mr. Poe: Snigglethorp? Are you crazy? You thought that was my real name? It's really Ryan. I just wanted to make the audience think I was silly so they wouldn't ever think of me doing such a dastardly plan as this. As to what we are going to do, we are going to school to learn how to manage a tv show properly without killing all the audience. Then we will be back with another episode of Minutes With Mr. Poe!_


	3. Episode: No Substitutions

Minutes With Mr. Poe 

**The TV show all about our in school Mr. Poe!**

**Episode: No Substitutions **

**Schoolteacher coughs at class, which include: Lady Red and Blue, Mr. Ryan Poe, Tyler Bonchovie, some dancing dead, a girl named Alice and her 'life is a breeze' BF. Tyler is passing notes to the Lady Red and she is tossing them in the garbage. Her apparent distaste for the notes doesn't stop Tyler from passing them. Mr. Poe stares dazedly at Alice, but she is holding hands with another cute guy and is paying no attention to him.**

Teacher: Class, come to order. This ain't a ranch. This is a fine rootin' tootin' school handled by yours very truly. And, if I may say so myself, I've done a very fine job. This school has sent out into the world over these past two seconds, so many fine young people who are going to change the world with the things they've learned here. Now you will get that chance as well. Do you want it?

_Everyone: YES!_

_Teacher: I can hear you, but what the heck, say it louder!_

_Everyone: __YES!_

_Teacher: No, that's not right. Try again_

_Everyone: __YES!_

_Teacher: I'm just not feeling it…_

_Everyone: __YES! __Yes! __YESSSSSSS!!_

Teacher: Shut up! God, you children are noisy! Why aren't children now, like they were in my day? Think on this and write a report on it .I want that done by the end of today. Go to next class.

**Everyone shuffles out, Mr. Poe trying his best to run into Alice so they can talk, but failing miserably, because her boyfriend has his arm around her. The class goes into the next room and all sit. The teacher from the first class, Miss Everywhere, walks to the teacher's desk. **

_Tyler: Where's Mr. Dads? Why are you here, Miss Everywhere?_

Every: Oh, Mr. Dads is sick, so I'm substituting. Isn't that just wonderful? I get so much more time to spend with you darling little brats!

_Tyler: Just wonderful…_

_Every: Today you will learn how to draw. Any of you have any idea what drawing is?_

**Everyone shakes his or her heads.**

Every: I thought as much. But that's good, cause then I get to teach it to you. Now here is something called paper.

Mr. Poe: We know what paper is, Miss Everywhere

Every: No, you don't, Mr. Poe. Now let me continue, and if you speak one more time I'm going to beat you bare and naked, you understand me?

Mr. Poe: Yes, ma'am

Every: And that goes for all of you lot. I won't have junk in my school, no sir. So take a pencil-

Alice BF: What's a pencil?

Every: You don't know what a pencil is!? Leave this room, Alice's BF! And never come back!

BF: Fine. I don't care. Come on Alice.

Alice: No, I want to stay

BF: Fine, then. You're not my girlfriend anymore.

Red: Can I be your girlfriend?

BF: Yeah, sure, it doesn't matter.

**They leave, and Mr. Poe looks greedily and happily at Alice.**

Every: So take a pencil and draw.

**Blue begins but everyone else is at a loss as to what to do.**

Tyler: I thought you were going to teach us.

_Every: Practice makes perfect, young man._

_Tyler: And random things make idiots, Miss Everywhere_

_Every: You are smart, Tyler Bonchovie. If you keep this up, I'll have to send you to first grade before your time._

_Mr. Poe: So what grade are we in right now?_

_Every: Preschool_

_Mr. Poe: Ohhh… like the thing babies do?_

_Every: Precisely_

**While everyone is talking Blue is working like crazy, making dust fly up around her with how fast she is going. She hands her drawing in to Miss Everywhere**

_Blue: This is my drawing, Miss Everywhere_

_Every: I see, I see. This is delightful, Lady Blue. Simply delightful. You have learned so much in the past few minutes. I'll see you after school to talk of a position here as teacher!_

_Blue: Miss Everywhere, you do me such honors_

_Every: Good students get what they deserve. Now since you are done, you may go into the next class room and begin there_

_Blue: Thank you_

**She leaves and Miss Everywhere comes over to check on the progress of the others**

_Every: Mr. Poe, are you drawing a woman or a wall covered with graffiti? I cannot for the jellybeans figure out which._

_Mr. Poe: Neither. It's a lion eating a tiger_

_Every: Well, that's an interesting subject, but I'm going to have to tell you now that you won't get more than a Z- for your grade of it._

_Mr. Poe: Art is art, no matter what the grade_

_Tyler: And fools are fools, no matter what they say_

_Mr. Poe: I don't know what that means_

_Tyler: That is my point, I believe_

_Every: Alice, I see you cannot draw whatsoever. That looks like a cat when I see you are trying to draw a chicken_

_Alice: It is a cat. And I don't appreciate your unkindly remarks. I'm sure no one does. _

_Every: I think that is just your opinion. I'm sure everyone else here wants to get a good grade. Right?_

**She looks at everyone that is except Alice and they nod their heads **

_Every: See? They just earned a grade level jump up. It's like a game, Alice dear, and if you don't play it right you die! Understand?_

_Alice: I understand but I don't agree_

_Every: Well, that's just something you are going to have to live with. Class dismissed_

**As they are walking out, Alice grabs a hold of Mr. Poe's hand **

_Alice: Don't let her bully you, Mr. Poe_

_Mr. Poe: Ryan. My name is Ryan_

_Alice: I'm glad you finally asked me to call you that. I've been waiting forever for you to make a move towards me. I could see you liked me cause you were always making goggle eyes at me all through class and everywhere else you and I were in the same room. _

_Mr. Poe: Well, you kinda had a boyfriend, so I didn't want to mess that up _

_Alice: There was nothing to mess up. He was, is, and always will be a 'life is a breeze' BF with no name and no life. But me, I'm starting new. And it will be with you. You take life seriously and you care about things._

**They begin kissing outside the door to the next class, but suddenly the head of Miss Everywhere pokes out.**

_Every: Umm, excuse me, but where are the bathrooms?_

_Alice: Down the hall_

_Every: Oh, come on! You didn't really believe I came to ask you where the bathrooms were, did you? Get in here! It's time for school!_

**Inside…**

_Tyler: Miss Everywhere, where is Miss Annabelle?_

_Every: She had a baby_

**Next class…**

_Tyler: Where is Donna Winston?_

_Every: She came up with a rare disease called 'I Don't Want To Teach'_

**And so on until…**

_Tyler: Don't tell me. Don Bein A. Tea Cher died, right?_

_Every: Actually, he's just eating lunch. When he is done he will take over_

_Mr. Poe: Hallelujah!_

_Every: Do you mean that you don't like me?_

_Mr. Poe: No, no, it's just that we would like to meet out other teachers and we don't want any terrible thing to be happening to them. You understand, Miss Everywhere, right?_

_Every: Yes, definitely. I am a very smart woman if you haven't noticed_

_Alice: We haven't_

_Every: What did you say, Alice?_

_Alice: Your talent. It's incredible_

_Every: Why, thank you. It's funny, I thought you had said 'we haven't', but you didn't. I'm so sorry for thinking wrong of you. It's just the way kids are these days… But I shouldn't have judged you by what so many do. You are an individual, and you aren't like the others. Yes, you aren't like the others, Alice Applebee. Not at all_

_Alice: Wait…_

_Every: Yes?_

_Alice: I lied. I did say what you thought I did. I am like all the others. I'm so stupid, and I'm… sorry_

_Every: Alice, don't be. Do you see that this act of kindness and honesty that you have just done shows that you are indeed one of those special people that choose right instead of wrong?_

_Alice: Really? But…_

_Every: Alice, you are good girl. And I just want to say I'm sorry to all the class for being such a nuisance. No one is actually sick, or having a baby, or having a rare disease, or smoking, or dancing, or sleeping, or in the hospital, or driving. Though Mr. Cher is eating his lunch and he will be here soon_

_Mr. Poe: Why did you tell us that they were doing all that stuff?_

_Every: Because I wanted to spend as much time with you before… I leave_

_Everyone: What!?_

_Every: Yes. I thought that we were going to close down this school because no on was coming and we didn't have enough money to keep it going. So I got all prepared to leave, and then, you all come. The money you pay still won't be enough to keep us going, so I wanted to have one more day of teaching before it closed. So all the other teachers let me and gave me things to tell you when you asked where they were. But now I must go. Thank you for being the cutest and the cleverest students I've ever had the pleasure of teaching. Goodbye_

**And she left. Mr. Cher came in and taught them how to work a TV show, so they got what they came for. But Mr. Cher just wasn't as good or as fun as Miss Everywhere, though she didn't teach them anything useful. Even though Mr. Poe can draw now. And she helped him get Alice and that is one of the best things a teacher or anyone can give someone. A person to love.**

_Alice: You know, even though she didn't teach us what we came here for, Miss Everywhere taught us far more important things. I'll never lie again_

_Mr. Poe: And I learned how to draw_

_Tyler: I learned two super cool new sayings_

_Alice's ex-BF: I learned what a pencil was_

_Blue: I learned nothing I didn't already know_

_DancingDead: We learned to live_

_Red: And I learned how to write a report_

_Blue: You did? I don't think Miss Everywhere really expected us to do that_

_Red: Oh. Well, anyway, after I left with brainless, he wouldn't do anything with me, so not having anything to do, I wrote the report. I think it's pretty good for a first one_

_Blue: This is incredible. You could like win the Nobel prize for this_

_Red: The whatsa?_

_Blue: Well, of course you couldn't win it if you don't know what it was_

_Red: You could teach me_

_Blue: You may have written a really good report, but that doesn't make you fun to teach_

_Tyler: I think I'm in love_

_Mr. Poe: With whom?_

_Tyler: Miss Everywhere. She's so mysterious, you know, how she just disappeared like that_

_Mr. Poe: This is like acting/directing camp. She used special effects, man_

_Tyler: Well, I don't really care. It was still pretty mysterious_

_Mr. Poe: Hey, guess what? _

_Tyler: What?_

_Mr. Poe: We now get to go back and you get to write another episode of Minutes With Mr. Poe! _


	4. Episode: Romeo Poe

**Minutes With Mr. Poe**

**The TV show all about our back in business Mr. Poe!**

**Episode: Romeo Poe**

**Mr. Poe is standing on stage in fake garden with fake balcony with unfake Alice standing on it. They are in Elizabethan clothes.**

_Alice: How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore? The orchard walls are high and hard to climb, and the place death, considering who thou art, if any of my kinsmen find thee here._

_Poe: I used thou ladder_

_Alice: If they do see thee, they will murder thee_

_Poe: I don't care. Well, maybe I do a little bit_

_Alice: I would not for the world they saw thee here_

_Poe: Oh, it's OK. I have a black cape to hide under_

_Alice: By whose direction found'st thou out this place?_

_Poe: The director. He gave me counsel and I gave him my eyes_

_Alice: Thou know'st the mask of night is on my face, else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek for that which thou hast heard me speak tonight. Fain would-_

_Poe: Julie baby, I swear-_

_Alice: Cut! Tyler, come here this instant!_

**Tyler Bonchovie walks nonchalantly onto the stage and towards Alice who was playing the character Juliet in the play "Mr. Poe + Juliet"**

_Tyler: Yeah? What's wrong Alice?_

_Alice: What's wrong? What's wrong is that I'm working with a suck actor!_

**There were several gasps from everyone **

_Tyler: I find that very inappropriate, young lady._

_Alice: You do? Well, I don't care! I'm not gonna be Juliet when Romeo is a modern mess!_

**She storms out. Mr. Poe looks regretful. Tyler seeing the idiocy of it all including himself, laughs his shock away**

_Tyler: Well, I guess Lady Red will have to play Juliet_

_Stagehand: Lady Red is on a date_

_Tyler: What! With whom?_

_Mr. Poe: Alice's old BF_

_Tyler: She's still with that guy after he totally blew her?_

_Mr. Poe: I guess so_

_Tyler: Well, who is going to play Juliet then?_

_Blue: I could_

_Tyler: Sorry, you're just not pretty enough. We'll just have to hire somebody off the streets. OK, everyone, plaster signs of employment for a Juliet all around town! Even in places that no one will ever see them! _

**Everyone but Mr. Poe and Blue leave. Blue looks blue, and Mr. Poe looks hot**

_Mr. Poe: I wish you had gotten the part_

_Blue: I do to. Tyler Bonchovie is just a stuck up little monster. It doesn't really matter if someone is pretty, it's how good the acting is. If someone is good enough they could convince the audience they are beautiful_

_Mr. Poe: You're right! I never thought of it that way. By the way, do you think I'm a suck actor?_

_Blue: No. I really thought you were good as Romeo. You see, I think of this play as very stupid and the way Romeo really acts is pathetic if not annoying. Your portrayal of him is fresh, modern, and really shows what a dumb guy Romeo is, for all his fancy words._

_Mr. Poe: Wow! You've really got a lot to say_

_Blue: A person does when they keep their mouth shut most of their life_

_Mr. Poe: Lady Blue, I like you very much. Do you think we could be friends?_

_Blue: Yes, I do. You know, you're smarter than everyone thinks you are._

_Mr. Poe: Thank you. And you are prettier than everyone thinks you are._

_Blue: That line beats anything Shakespeare has ever written_

**In the streets posters were being put up, in people's stores, houses, shirts, baby cribs, and antique horse troughs. It was wild. For a couple days no one paid any attention to the signs except to tear them off whatever furniture and such they were stuck on and throw them in the garbage. Then one day…**

_Hottie: Hello, are you Tyler Bonchovie?_

_Tyler: Yes. Who are you, hottie?_

_Hottie: Hattie Jack. I've come to try out for the part of Juliet in your upcoming play, Mr. Poe and Juliet_

_Tyler: You've got the part_

_Hattie: But I haven't done anything yet_

_Tyler: I'm the director so I can do whatever I want. And you don't have to do anything. You look hot so you are hot. That's my motto_

_Hattie: How can that be your motto?_

_Tyler: That really isn't why you came here, is it?_

_Hattie: No_

_Tyler: Good. Come this way. We'll get you into makeup and open the show tonight_

_Hattie: Tonight? But I have to memorize my lines-_

_Tyler: Nobody cares about that, Hattie Hottie, all they want is to see your face_

**She is brought into makeup and dress, then is taken onstage where the other actors are waiting, which are Mr. Poe. Lady Blue stood off to the side to watch. It is same scene from before, Juliet on balcony, Mr. Poe below. Hattie looks nervous and uncomfortable**

_Poe: …that I might touch that cheek!_

_Hattie: Ay me!_

_Poe: She speaks. Please speak again, for thou are wonderful in every detail_

_Hattie: O Mr. Poe, Mr. Poe! Wherefore art thou Mr. Poe? Deny thy mother…I mean father, um, I don't know_

_Poe: What?_

_Hattie: I don't know what she says. I don't know Juliet's lines_

_Poe: But… Then why are you…? Tyler!_

_Tyler: Yeah?_

_Poe: This young lady doesn't know her lines_

_Tyler: Your point?_

_Poe: She can't be Juliet if she doesn't know the lines. How are we supposed to put this show on tonight's episode of Minutes With Mr. Poe? Huh? Tell me that?_

_Tyler: Calm down, Ryan. I've got everything under control. Anyway, let's stop for now. Take a break, eat some lunch._

_Poe: She'd better be ready next time_

_Tyler: Of course, of course, don't you worry about a thing_

**All the assembly leaves except Poe and Blue again. She walks toward him solemnly **

_Poe: I just can't do this, Blue. That girl is no good. Oh, yeah she's pretty all right. Gorgeous. But she doesn't know the lines…_

_Blue: I understand. But give her a chance_

_Poe: All right, but I bet you know all the lines_

_Blue: I do. She's young, and we only got her today. She's being pushed into it too fast_

_Poe: Blue, what's your real name?_

_Blue: You mean besides Blue? Well, are you sure you want to know?_

_Poe: Oh, yeah_

_Blue: Lulabelle. Lulabelle Blue_

_Poe: Like the Hanson song? Your name is beautiful, far more beautiful than Hattie Jack_

_Lula: Thank you. You like Hanson?_

_Poe: I adore them_

_Lula: Me too. This is weird._

_Poe: What do you mean?_

_Lula: Well, I mean how we have so many things in common and how we get along so well_

_Poe: Is that bad?_

_Lula: No…Its just people might say something crazy, you know, like we're in love…_

_Poe: Oh, I see what you mean. So you don't want to be friends anymore? _

_Lula: What do you think we should do?_

_Poe: I will stand up for you and our friendship no matter what anyone says. But will you?_

_Lula: I will! I may be crazy, but I'm going to do this!_

_Poe: You are truly a wonderful person, Lulabelle_

_Lula: As are you, Mr. Poe_

_Poe: Ryan_

_Lula: Of course_

**The night came and everyone got in his or her costumes and places. Tyler came out to the stage and took his place at the announcer microphone. The curtains rose…**

_Tyler: Ladies and ladies, tonight is a very special night. We've not done the show for almost a day now and now we are finally going to do it. Another episode, but this one is different from the others. We are going to put on a play. Mr. Poe and Juliet! And here it is._

**He leaves and the lights go out. When they come on again, it shows a balcony, Mr. Poe, and Hattie Jack. Hattie looks nervous and unsure. Mr. Poe is hot and happy.**

_Poe: Will you leave me so unsatisfied? _

_Hattie: I don't know what to do_

_Poe: You say you love me and I tell you the same_

_Hattie: I don't know_

_Poe: Would you take it away? For what purpose, lovely thing?_

_Hattie: I don't know_

_Audience to themselves: That girl is lovely but she is very unsure of mind_

**Hattie exits**

_Poe: What a wonderful night! I'm very afraid that this may all be a dream, for it is very beautiful. Too beautiful to be true_

**He waits for Hattie to return to the balcony and answer him, but she does not. Tyler beckons him from the side of the stage. Mr. Poe walks over**

_Tyler: Hattie left_

_Poe: What! Why?_

_Tyler: She said she was not going to stand up there and be embarrassed in front of all those people_

_Poe: Oh, my God! _

_Tyler: Why did she say that? How in the world could someone like her be embarrassed?_

_Poe: Maybe cause she doesn't know any of her lines!_

_Tyler: Are you trying to blame something on me? Well, there's no time! We have to find a Juliet. Has Alice reconsidered?_

_Poe: After she found out that we had got someone else she said there was no way we would ever see her again_

_Tyler: Then who? No one else knows the lines!_

_Poe: Lulabelle does_

_Tyler: Who is that?_

_Poe: A friend of mine_

_Tyler: Is she pretty?_

_Poe: Very_

_Tyler: Bring her in then, man!_

**Mr. Poe then brought Lulabelle into make up and hair without her being seen, and he dressed her up beautifully**

_Lula: Oh, thank you, Ryan! I can't believe Tyler let me have the part_

_Poe: Sometimes people do the greatest things when they are desperate. And when they don't know the first name of someone_

_Lula: You mean you tricked him into giving me the part? Ryan, you shouldn't have!_

_Poe: You deserve this, Lulabelle, and so I'm giving it to you, even if I had to trick Tyler to do it. By the way, you look lovely. I don't think Tyler will even recognize you_

_Lula: You are a darling, Ryan. No one's ever been this nice to me before_

_Poe: Well, we'd better go. The audience is waiting_

_Lula: Yes, we should_

**Out on stage…**

_Poe: …and sails upon the bosom of the air_

_Lula: O Mr. Poe, Mr. Poe! Wherefore art thou Mr. Poe? Deny thy father and refuse thy name: or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet_

**The audience claps with delight and amazement. They truly thought no one would ever get the lines right. Tyler is entranced in the beauty and brains of Juliet. Mr. Poe sees this and smiles to himself**

_Poe: Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?_

_Lula: Tis' but thy name that is my enemy; thou art thyself, though not a Poe. What's Poe? It is nor hand nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; So Mr. Poe would, were he not Mr. Poe call'd, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Mr. Poe, doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee take all myself_

_Poe: I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; Henceforth I never will be Mr. Poe_

_Lula: Thee hast the heart of an angel_

**Everyone is very surprised that she spoke different from the play and gasp. She has tears in her eyes as she begins to speak again**

_Lula: Dear audience, you all think you know this man called Mr. Poe. But you know only the man on the stage. The words that he has spoken to you are but lines written by someone else. I know the true man. Ryan Poe is the one man in the world that I have found to be perfect. The one man, the only man that I could ever think of marrying. He put a lot into this play, went through a lot of bad or mean actresses today and even after that he helped me into the part of Juliet when he had not ever seen me act. He was only going off my word and anyone can be a liar. I want you all to know him truly, so that you can really love him fully, with all knowledge of his personality. I hope that you do not think me stupid, for I am in earnest and I want you to care. I wouldn't mind if you did think me stupid, only for your sake. Now I will give you the man behind the stage!_

_Tyler: Yes, ladies and ladies, that is our new upcoming episode! So see you next time for behind the scenes footage._

**Tyler ushers everyone off the stage. He looks bewildered and angry**

_Tyler: Lulabelle, who are you? Are you Ryan's girlfriend that you know so much about him? _

_Ryan: Yes, she is my girlfriend. Lulabelle, this is Tyler Bonchovie, Tyler this is Lulabelle Blue_

_Tyler: Lady Blue! But she can't be her! Lady Blue isn't hot!_

_Ryan: I'm afraid she is. And she's mine so you can't have her_

_Tyler: You're a jerk_

_Ryan: Go be with Lady Red. You were mean to Lulabelle_

**They leave Tyler by himself**

_Tyler: I like the name Lulabelle… _


End file.
